The Kansas City Royals are worth celebrating because of Lorde

October 9, 2014

On Home Dunk, John Moe talked to Yahoo! Sports’ Dave Brown about this year’s baseball playoffs, where the clear sentimental favorite is the Kansas City Royals, who have earned this honor by winning the World Series in 1985, then being a fire at the rendering plant for the better part of the next three decades.

(Baltimore, their opponent in the league championship series, has been horrible, too, but not Kansas City horrible.  The Orioles are the Carly Rae Jepsen first pitch to the Royals’ 50 Cent.  Which really doesn’t do justice to how bad Kansas City has been.  Maybe if 50 Cent’s pitch had also caused a severe recession/locust plague.)

Kansas City’s long-suffering fans are deliriously happy, as they have every right to be.  I’m right there with them.  It’s not because I’m old enough to remember when they were a model franchise.  It’s not because they seem to be succeeding in spite of their manager, Ned Yost.  (My boss, a lifelong fan of Yost’s former team, the Milwaukee Brewers, has a “Toast to Yost” t-shirt that he wears with the bitter irony of someone whose team hasn’t been to the World Series since Reagan’s first term.)   It’s not even because their former manager, Hal McRae, had the single best office tirade in sports history.

I think I share their glee because of Lorde.

The New Zealand singer-songwriter’s breakthrough song, “Royals,” was inspired by a National Geographic photograph of Royals great George Brett signing baseballs.  An Antipodean teenager writes one of the biggest singles in recent memory because of a 1976 picture of the Kansas City Royals’ third baseman: HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

The weirdness is compounded by this photo of Brett and Lorde’s meeting earlier this year.

George Brett.  Lorde.  Royals.  What.

It looks like a thing that was Photoshopped that somehow crossed over into reality and actually happened.  I’m not even kidding about this.  I think someone should look into it.

Assuming this actually happened, I, and you, should root for the Royals.  Whenever something this strange and impossible takes place, we should celebrate it.

Of course, it could all still end badly for the Royals.  It probably will.  Even if they get past the Orioles, either the St. Louis Cardinals or San Francisco Giants, winners of three of the last four World Series, await.  But then again: the Royals miss the playoffs for 29 years.  George Brett and Lorde hang out in April.  And now the Royals are in the ALCS.  I don’t believe in destiny or fate.  But I believe in Lorde.