The worst versions of ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’

December 9, 2014

baby cold outside

(Yeah, I don’t trust that guy at all.)

Dana Rossi has some thoughts on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” on this episode of The Soundtrack Series, and you should definitely listen to them.  The song, with a Creep/Ick Factor exceeded only by the unapproachable C/I of “The Christmas Shoes,” has been covered by almost everyone.  Unlike “The Christmas Shoes,” “Baby” is actually a decent, catchy tune (you’re humming it right now), until you pay attention to the lyrics and transition to, “Hey, Wolf, not cool. NOT COOL.”  There are many, many versions of this song.  Some of them are more than fine:

Ray Charles and Betty Carter

Dean Martin

But many are not. Like, most of them.  Dana mentions a version from the television show Blossom, sung by Mayim Bialik and Ted Wass, who are daughter and father on the show.  I’m going to repeat this for dramatic effect: WHO ARE DAUGHTER AND FATHER ON THE SHOW.

It’s going to be hard to top that, right?

Seth MacFarlane and Sara Bareilles

If I ever become rich and/or famous enough to release my own album of holiday classics, please don’t let me.  Especially if my riches and/or fame is the result of voicing a Peter Lorre-sounding cartoon baby.  I’m counting on you guys.

Robert Palmer and Carnie Wilson

If you were wondering what this song would sound like as essayed by the “Addicted to Love” singer and one-third of Wilson Phillips, now you know. I will allow that it is less objectionable than this album cover.

Liz Phair and Wheat

I don’t think the crummy audio quality of this clip makes things worse. I am now going to listen to Exile In Guyville 14 times.

Darius Rucker and Sheryl Crow

No.

Ariana Grande and Mac Miller

No.

John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IRT4HzeMy0

NO.

The Wikipedia entry lists many, many others, if you’re of a strong enough stomach for more of this.