Ways that the characters on The Walking Dead can avoid getting killed by zombies

February 9, 2015

The Walking Dead is back with new episodes and I’m super excited. Part of that is because Steven Yeun, who plays Glenn on the show, was on Wits last year and was hilarious. But I’m mostly excited because I love the show. I love watching the human survivors cope in a world with a seemingly endless supply of zombies. I care about the characters on the show so I sometimes think of ways that they can stay safe.

WAYS THAT THE CHARACTERS ON THE WALKING DEAD CAN AVOID GETTING KILLED BY ZOMBIES

Walk briskly – You don’t need to run away. You don’t even need to speed walk. Just a little spring in your step and you’re fine.
Hide in a room with a door – Lock it if you want but zombies can’t even work a doorknob.
Go out on a boat – Come on, those things can’t swim. Find somewhere with boats. You can have your pick.
Walk to the second floor of a building – What, you think zombies can handle stairs or elevators? No problem. Get some sleep up there.
Travel somewhere that has winter – No zombie makes it through a Minnesota winter.
Act like a zombie yourself – They’ve done this a few times on The Walking Dead and it works great. Zombies are no great detectives.
Maybe blindfold them – Admittedly it would be easier to impale their heads or chop the heads off but a blindfolded zombie is harmless and HILARIOUS.
Stuff cauliflower in their mouths – They’ll associate human flesh with the grossest vegetable and leave you alone. Word will get around.
Talk to the zombies and become friends with them – High risk, yes, but potentially high reward.
Try to get them to invest in your pyramid scheme – Oh, they’ll leave you alone after that.
Wait – Eventually they’re all going to deteriorate in the heat or get stuck in a revolving door or something. Just be patient.

Good luck, characters. I’ll be screaming these tips at my TV if you need any extra help.

John


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