Sordidness Tracker, Episode 36

March 10, 2015

You Must Remember This often contains wild tales from Hollywood’s colorful past, so much so that it can become difficult to keep track of all the sordid details while you listen to it and pretend to be working, parenting, paying attention to the road, etc.  Now, there’s help.  As you listen to Star Wars Episode X: Errol Flynn, this handy Sordidness Tracker will help you follow who was doing what to whom.

Prodigious drinking/drugging/fornicating: Indeed.

Probably (hopefully) facetious claims of slave trading: One.

Veuve Clicquot bottles used as weaponry: One.

Ruined marriages: Multiple.

Spousal abuse cover-ups: At least one.

Hailstorms used as a metaphor for women: Yes.

Does Karina Longworth imitate Errol Flynn: No.

Who does: Noah Segen.

Does Karina Longworth imitate anyone: Yes, Hermann Erben.

Is it better than her Dustin Hoffman impression: No.

Howard Hughes, havin’ sex: Howard Hughes does not have sex in this episode.

Alternative urinals: Two (fireplace, open picture window).

Corpses borrowed: One (John Barrymore’s).

Liquors injected into oranges: One (vodka).

Venereal diseases afflicting podcast’s subject: Multiple.

Are these alleged venereal diseases, or legitimate: Per J. Edgar Hoover, legitimate.

Statutory rape accusations: At least two.

Victim-blaming used to deflect allegations: Yup.

Hater-silencing Italian film projects that fall through: One.

Nazis associated with: Two.

Postmortem accusations of Nazi surveillance that don’t quite hold up: Yes.

Also mentioned in this episode: Alcoholic mentors, irregular heartbeats, heroin addiction.