The Murder Cat Rules

March 12, 2015

Inspired by: The rules of Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoons

  • Murder Cat has no motive to murder. He is, by title and definition, a murder cat.
  • Murder Cat takes no joy or sorrow in murdering. It’s just what he does.
  • Murder Cat can understand speech but can’t quite talk himself.
  • Murder Cat only murders people, never cats or other animals.
  • Murder Cat has no difficulty being adopted again after murdering previous owners.
  • Nothing can harm Murder Cat.
  • Murder Cat’s victims are aware that his name is Murder Cat.
  • The victims see being murdered as more an inconvenience than an actual death.
  • The victims disregard the threat posed by a cat named Murder Cat because he’s so cute.
  • The victims also feel like they’re the ones who can change Murder Cat.
  • Murder Cat has no political affiliations.
  • Murder Cat practices the Russian military concept of Maskirovka.