So I’m very casually in the market for another dog. My family really enjoys our current dog, Dave, but Dave has never had a dog so we figure he’d enjoy having one around as well. Might even go with a puppy so he can learn our strange ways at a young age. We have no cats. My wife is allergic. But even if she wasn’t, we’d stick with dogs because we’re dog people. There are cat people and there are dog people and there’s a difference.
CAT PEOPLE are tidy and like things to be consistent and orderly.
DOG PEOPLE are fine in whatever mess they end up in, happier to play and enjoy life.
CAT PEOPLE crave mellow affection.
DOG PEOPLE like that too but also want to run around outside and get stupid.
CAT PEOPLE love a nap in a sunbeam.
DOG PEOPLE sometimes bark at a cabinet for no reason at all.
CAT PEOPLE hiss and inflate their bodies when threatened, like at work or whatever.
DOG PEOPLE yell like crazy at anyone who walks in front of their houses.
CAT PEOPLE are humans with cat ears, tails, and retractable claws.
DOG PEOPLE are humans with dog arms and legs, human faces but dog noses.
CAT PEOPLE bring their significant others “gifts,” which are mostly small dead animals.
DOG PEOPLE hunt in packs, corralling deer and then eating the deer right there on the spot.
CAT PEOPLE are often named Princess.
DOG PEOPLE are often named Rascal.
So yeah, once we find that puppy, he or she should feel right at home in our house.
Friends of Wits Doing Stuff
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn)‘s Silicon Valley is entering its second season on HBO, and it has a very funny teaser to go with it:
Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) is releasing a new solo album called The Traveler, which features members of R.E.M., The Minus 5, and Black Prairie (which also features four members of The Decemberists; feel free to grab a pen so you can keep track). Take a listen to “Most In The Summertime” below and enjoy humming it for the rest of the day:
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