David Schwimmer movies that could plausibly exist and be on Netflix right now

April 28, 2015

 

Oh, Great! (1997) – Schwim plays Charles Great, an advertising executive known for his biting sarcasm. After an encounter with a hobo (really a wizard) in an alley, his sarcasm is replaced by flattering sincerity. And oh what problems THAT causes! Anne Heche co-stars. 93 min.

A Fish Too Many (1999) – Schwim is a law student who, needing to make tuition money, agrees to be a summer nanny for the Fish family of Nantucket. Imagine his surprise when they turn out to be a family of mer-people in disguise! Now he must join them on a WHALE of an undersea adventure. Rick Schroeder co-stars. 108 min.

Modest Heat (2011) – Rick Modest (Schwim) is the quietest detective on the force. And when the heat turns up, he steps out of the room. Seann William Scott as “Grunion.” 84 min.

Whaaaaaaaaa? (1996) – Schwim is part of a star-studded cast (Ray Romano, Don Imus, Valerie Harper) in this comedy about a wacky cross-country BMX bike race. He plays Shep, out to win the race for his brother… a chimp! 149 min.

Here Are Some Flowers For You, They’re a Little Wilted and Broken, Sorry About That (2002) – Schwim plays the loneliest guy on the bomb squad. And the worst at his job! Lynn Redgrave co-stars. 71 min.

Unexpected Jeff (1998) – Everything seems straightened out for Laurie (Brooke Shields) until Jeff appears unexpectedly. Who is he? Why is he hanging around her apartment? Why doesn’t he say anything? Could it be… love? Schwim plays Jeff. 121 min.

Grass Stains (1994) – Schwim plays Silas, the struggling manager of a lawn care business. One day he comes across a pile of money or a dead body or a bomb or something. Dabney Coleman co-stars. 90 min. on the dot.

Unexpected Jeff 2: Still Unexpected (2008) – Jeff joins the army! Bill Pullman is in it. 85 min.

Yrs,

John


Friends of Wits Doing Stuff

Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) spoke with VH1’s Nick Lachey (!) about dropping out of college to be a musician.

The Thrilling Adventure Hour (@ThrillingAdv)‘s Frank and Sadie Doyle (or Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) and Paget Brewster (@pagetpaget), if you’d rather) may be the first Wits guests to have their own comic book. The second one will almost definitely be Murder Cat.

Reggie Watts (@reggiewatts) has departed Comedy Bang! Bang! to be the bandleader on the Late Late Show. The former has previewed how they will bid Reggie farewell.

Dave Foley (@DaveSFoley) and the rest of The Kids in the Hall began their North American reunion tour in Toronto. Sorry, South America.


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