My one day as That Mustache Guy

April 21, 2015

Our long national nightmare is over. I shaved my beard. The weather was warmer, my wife had a sort of sad and resigned look about her, and I just decided to remove the big hairy thing. I left the mustache for a day because I’ve never had one before and wanted to find out what it felt like to spend a day as That Mustache Guy.

Here’s what/who I felt like:

– Your mom’s new boyfriend Neil

– The worst Gordon Lightfoot impersonator in Norway

– Lyman, the long lost roommate(?) of Jon from Garfield

– A guy who had just taken a big sloppy drink of hair

– A down-on-his-luck waterbed salesman

– A guy at work who everyone was slightly concerned about (this happened when I wore the mustache to work)

– Kenny Loggins’ podiatrist

– Last place in the Magnum P.I. lookalike contest

– Someone with a lot of rare Yes albums

– A guy who knows a lot about Corvettes

– The junior high school teacher who hopes the kids don’t learn about his band

– A Viking therapist

Your crisp, clean host,


Friends of Wits Doing Stuff

Paul Scheer (@paulscheer), Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman), Ben Acker (@bnacker), and Ben Blacker (@BenBlacker) all contributed to Marvel’s gigantic Death of Deadpool issue. Reminder that you can catch Paul with musical guest/friend of the show Neko Case (@NekoCase) Friday at the Fitz. (Kelly Hogan (@hoganhere) will be there, too!)

Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins): King of the Podcasts? Even in a representative democracy, the clear answer is yes.

We do not know the context, but if Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle), John Hodgman (@hodgman), and Serengeti (@serengetidave) show up in the same picture, we are going to share it.

John Darnielle (@mountain_goats) has been given the title of the best storyteller in rock, and we are not going to argue.

Steven Yeun (@steveyeun) is aware of the rumors that another major character will die in the next season of The Walking Dead. His comment: If it’s him, it’s going to be awesome.

Did you know there is a Wits newsletter?  Much like the Infinite Guest newsletter, it comes out every week, with original content from Wits host John Moe, updates on new shows, what guests and friends of the program are up to, videos from the Wits YouTube channel, the whole shebang.

Would you like to subscribe? Enter information in the Internet boxes (technical term) BELOW.

You must be 13 or older to submit any information to APM. Any personally identifying information you provide will not be sold, shared, or used for purposes other than to contact you if you are selected, unless you selected “Yes” above. See APM Terms of Use and Privacy policy.