My one day as That Mustache Guy

April 21, 2015

Our long national nightmare is over. I shaved my beard. The weather was warmer, my wife had a sort of sad and resigned look about her, and I just decided to remove the big hairy thing. I left the mustache for a day because I’ve never had one before and wanted to find out what it felt like to spend a day as That Mustache Guy.

Here’s what/who I felt like:

– Your mom’s new boyfriend Neil

– The worst Gordon Lightfoot impersonator in Norway

– Lyman, the long lost roommate(?) of Jon from Garfield

– A guy who had just taken a big sloppy drink of hair

– A down-on-his-luck waterbed salesman

– A guy at work who everyone was slightly concerned about (this happened when I wore the mustache to work)

– Kenny Loggins’ podiatrist

– Last place in the Magnum P.I. lookalike contest

– Someone with a lot of rare Yes albums

– A guy who knows a lot about Corvettes

– The junior high school teacher who hopes the kids don’t learn about his band

– A Viking therapist

Your crisp, clean host,

John


Friends of Wits Doing Stuff

Paul Scheer (@paulscheer), Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman), Ben Acker (@bnacker), and Ben Blacker (@BenBlacker) all contributed to Marvel’s gigantic Death of Deadpool issue. Reminder that you can catch Paul with musical guest/friend of the show Neko Case (@NekoCase) Friday at the Fitz. (Kelly Hogan (@hoganhere) will be there, too!)

Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins): King of the Podcasts? Even in a representative democracy, the clear answer is yes.

We do not know the context, but if Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle), John Hodgman (@hodgman), and Serengeti (@serengetidave) show up in the same picture, we are going to share it.

John Darnielle (@mountain_goats) has been given the title of the best storyteller in rock, and we are not going to argue.

Steven Yeun (@steveyeun) is aware of the rumors that another major character will die in the next season of The Walking Dead. His comment: If it’s him, it’s going to be awesome.


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