You Must Remember This often contains wild tales from Hollywood’s colorful past, so much so that it can become difficult to keep track of all the sordid details while you listen to it and pretend to be working, parenting, paying attention to the road, etc. Now, there’s help. As you listen to Star Wars Episode XIV: Frank Sinatra Through 1945, this handy Sordidness Tracker will help you follow who was doing what to whom.
Philandering: And then some.
More specifically: “Nonstop bacchanals, starlets and prostitutes.”
Instances of blackface: One.
“Epic” catfights: One.
Compared unfavorably to Hitler: Yes.
Physicals taken: Two.
Does Karina Longworth imitate Frank Sinatra: No.
Does she imitate anyone: Yes, songwriter Sammy Cahn and 32nd President of the United States Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
Are they better than her Dustin Hoffman impression: No. (It’s at the 9:40 mark.)
Howard Hughes, havin’ sex: Howard Hughes does not have sex in this episode.
J. Edgar Hoover, bein’ a dink: Hoover appears to have had a somewhat legitimate reason to investigate Sinatra allegedly bribing his way out of going to war. However, given what we know about Hoover now, it’s fair to assume that he went about this like a total dink.
Misogynist criticisms of Sinatra by military periodicals: Yes.
Mice make women faint, too.
— Stars & Stripes
Acts of war found out about at Lana Turner’s house: One (Pearl Harbor).
Orgasms: Isolated, several.
Items thrown at Frank Sinatra: Shoes, eggs.
Also mentioned: Abortionist mothers, enraged right-wing columnists, subtle ethnic slurs, Gene Kelly.