You Must Remember This often contains wild tales from Hollywood’s colorful past, so much so that it can become difficult to keep track of all the sordid details while you listen to it and pretend to be working, parenting, paying attention to the road, etc. Now, there’s help. As you listen to Star Wars Episode XV: Why John Wayne Didn’t Sign Up, this handy Sordidness Tracker will help you follow who was doing what to whom.
Division I football scholarships lost due to injury: One.
Screaming used to land acting part: Yes.
John Wayne compared to a hunky young actor in a Nicholas Sparks movie: Yes.
Get outta here: No. As Karina suggests, Google “John Wayne The Big Trail.” Or just click here.
Holy heck: I know, right?
Affairs had: Multiple.
Loose retellings of M. Butterfly: One.
Important facets of John Wayne’s history shrouded in mystery and conflicting accounts: Several (his stage name, USO tours, the exact circumstances of his service avoidance).
Does Karina Longworth imitate John Wayne: Yes.
Does she imitate anyone else: Yes, Marlene Dietrich and Mary Ford.
Are they better than her Dustin Hoffman impression: No. (It’s at the 9:40 mark.)
Howard Hughes, havin’ sex: Howard Hughes does not have sex in this episode. But he does help John Wayne have sex.
J. Edgar Hoover, bein’ a dink: Hoover is not a dink in this episode.
Does the Motion Picture Alliance for the Preservation of American Ideals reappear: Yes.
Marriages to a call girl from a long line of professional companions to Hollywood drunks: One.
Racist references to said call girl by legendary directors: One confirmed.
Not referenced, but appropriate to the subject at hand: “Sands of Iwo Jima,” Drive-By Truckers
Also mentioned: Poverty Row, the Hays Code, the USC Trojans.