A hand-crafted, shade-grown, beard-forward recap of the last week’s goings-on in the TBTL universe. It will run every Friday morning, because I know none of you reads on the weekend.
(Last) FRIDAY: Old man Luke yells at cloud. In this case, the cloud is fresh-faced Vine superstar Shawn Mendes. And if you don’t know what a “Vine superstar” is, that’s because you’ve led a decent, honorable life as a productive member of our late-capitalist society. Here is a clip of him getting hit in the head with a ball.
MONDAY: Before discussing the Bruce Jenner story and Andrew’s gross toenail sitch, the guys spend a goodly amount of “American Pie”s discussing jukebox standards and practices. On that note, there’s been a mild outcry from the Tens for more intel on me, TBTL’s Stu-bot, so here’s a clip of me “Smooth”-bombing a Buffalo Wild Wings in St. Paul, Minnesota.
TUESDAY: Luke thinks he might be getting “chubby,” so he calls his wife to confirm if he needs to get back on his exercise “grind.” This somehow flows into a discussion of Baltimore, Facebook, and flip-flops before the new installment of Game of Ice and Spoilers.
WEDNESDAY: Andrew’s dad likes Pitbull, Luke doesn’t like Facebook, and nobody likes Bud Light, and not for the usual, bad-at-being-beer reasons.
(This is a bad song. You are bad for liking it.)
THURSDAY: Carl punched a goddamn bear. Also, two “American Pie”s worth of Italian wedding soup chat.
TBTL Funcrusher Steve Nelson has been in Iowa the last couple days. These mysterious black boxes on his desk just sit there, lingering. Some say they play “cassette” “tapes” or such like. I can’t be sure. No one can.
(Photo credit: Steve “Stu” Neuman)
Ten of the Week: Samuel Wolter!
What’s your name and where do you live?
Samuel Wolter. Florida.
What’s the most interesting thing about you?
My old band once opened for the most popular band in South Africa. Also, I once knit my own sweater.
What are you usually doing when you listen to TBTL?
Packing vacuums into boxes in a giant, non-air conditioned warehouse.
What’s your secret shame food?
Those giant tubs of cheese balls, although my wife refuses to let me buy them.
If you could make everyone in the world watch one movie, what would it be and why?
The Big Lebowski, because everyone could be a little more like Jeff Bridges.
Who was your very first celebrity crush?
Hmm. I guess maybe Natalie Portman?
This is a picture of the actress Natalie Portman.
What’s a special skill you have that you’re most proud of?
I can cook a mean cheeseburger.
What’s the worst nickname you’ve ever had?
Poodles (I have sported a few bad haircuts in my younger years).
If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove passed?
“What the heck are you guys doing in Florida?!”
What’s your favorite TBTL moment?
The interview with Neil Hamburger that infuriated all the listeners who weren’t aware that “Neil Hamburger” isn’t a real person.
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