This Week in TBTL: What Dreams May Burgle

May 5, 2015

A hand-crafted, shade-grown, beard-forward recap of the last week’s goings-on in the TBTL universe.  It will run every Friday morning, because I know none of you reads on the weekend.

(Last) FRIDAY: Luke is already regretting a Vegas trip that hasn’t happened yet, and the gentlemen have some fun with the How Old app and Luke’s possible resemblance to some dude from Game of Thrones, a show I do not watch.

i see it a little bit

(Really gonna need to see Luke in a bald cap and ornate robe to draw a firm conclusion.)

MONDAY:  It’s a Phyllis Phriday on a Manic Monday before a Testy Tuesday, as Phyllis Fletcher guest hosts with Andrew to talk slam books and the Pacquiao/Mayweather fight.  Also, a trip to the TBTL archives for discussions of bullying, fighting, the sheer misery of junior high school, and the “superdookie.”

TUESDAY: Luke dodges two car accidents and a Vegas weekend to return to the show and help Andrew debunk the “poopbeard” story.  The new installment of Game of Ice and Spoilers has a Caddyshack reference, so I understood a single damn thing for once.

WEDNESDAY: Andrew opens the show with a powerful segment on shoe-tying.  Mystery Twitter bumps and the World’s Best Bartender from the Savage Moose Sports Pub, who may be named Christy but not Christine or Kristin, checks in.

career opportunities the one that is a moose

(What, exactly, are “Corona opportunities?”)

THURSDAY: Luke checks in from San Francisco, where he is reporting a story for a major American television network.  That piece of journalism is discussed, along with Andrew’s beardless face, the new, creepy-as-heck Hamburglar, boat drinks, and the “Deflategate” scandal.

(Note from Stu: Luke says “What dreams may burgle” and it made me laugh and I was sad it wasn’t even considered for the episode title, so the recap gets it.)


ELSEWHERE:

TBTL Funcrusher Steve Nelson got into a hair metal spiral this week. Unfortunately, the facts just don’t add up.

Let the record show: “November Rain” came out in 1991, not the ’80s.  C’mon, Steve.  It’s hard to hold a candle when you’re getting bedrock GnR history wrong.


TEN OF THE WEEK

What’s your name and where do you live?

Jaron Minor. Royal Oak, Michigan.

What’s the most interesting thing about you?

I still love to read picture books. One day I’ll have kids and no one will know the books are AI once cut my leg in college jumping across my room from my bed to a table. You could see my bone… I lived in a frat and we were having a mixer in a few minutes. I didn’t want to ruin anyone’s night so I just cured it with some gauze and a beer. For the next 2 days, I lied about my injury out of shame, but then I felt bad that everyone felt so bad for me, so I came clean and told them I was jumping across my room to put the sheets on my top bunk of the bunk bed. I was totally sober during this entire debacle.

What are you usually doing when you listen to TBTL?

Sitting in my office “working.”

What’s your secret shame food?

Oatmeal… if I ever don’t have groceries for dinner, oatmeal with some raisins will do quite alright for me.

If you could make everyone in the world watch one movie, what would it be and why?

Donnie Brasco … forget about it.

Who was your very first celebrity crush?

Vanessa Huxtable from the Cosby show.

What’s a special skill you have that you’re most proud of?

I can be very drunk and no one will have the slightest idea … very.

What’s the worst nickname you’ve ever had?

Jart… I studied abroad in Austria. Jared was a little tough for one of the professors. The nickname has still stuck to this day.

If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove passed?

Boom Boom!

What’s your favorite TBTL moment?

My favorite episode was when Luke forgot to record an episode and just decided to record one in his car without Andrew (No offense Walsh, you’re the man). Luke was ranting about a man’s shirt, and somehow from there … shit got real. This was among the first episodes I ever listened to.


THE TBTL NEWSLETTER IS HERE

That’s right.  A TBTL Newsletter.  Every Friday.  In your electronic mailbox.  Containing show recaps, a Ten of the Week, notes from Luke and Andrew, cutting room floor items from the past week, and news about upcoming TBTL events and ephemera.  More ephemera than you’ll know what to do with, frankly.

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