Summer is in full swing and that means mosquitoes are here to make your life a little more awful. It also means I’m here to help.
Scratch a different part of your body – We all know not to scratch the bite, makes it worse. But if you have a bite on your leg, scratch your arm. This actually works although only temporarily and not much.
Put toothpaste on the bite– It’s always on hand and it might help a little.
Kill all mosquitoes everywhere – If they’re all dead, none of them can bite you. This is admittedly a bit more time-consuming.
Make friends with the mosquito and make it realize that we’re all brothers and sisters, man – Good luck with that.
Cry about it – You baby.
Catch them in the act – Then squeeze them so your blood goes back into you along with some of their blood. Now you are part mosquito and empathize with them a little more.
Set up one of those horrible stinky candles – You’ll get bit by mosquitoes anyway but at least your yard will smell like a hippy’s shed.
Realize that you deserve the bite – Remember that one time you did something kind of mean or thoughtless? Exactly. Now look.
Put honey on it – The itch will go away although now guess what, genius? You have a bear problem. Nice going.
Alcohol – Rubbing, that is. Or just have some cocktails. Hey, I’m not going to judge you. Seems like you should be able to deal with a mosquito bite without hitting the bottle right away but what do I know?
Bite a mosquito – Won’t help your own bite but you will be a legend in the mosquito community.
Friends of Wits Doing Stuff
Maria Bamford (@mariabamfoo) is finally getting her own show. It’s a collaboration with Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz, it’s called Lady Dynamite, and is coming to your Netflix in the near future. (Can confirm that there were actual high-fives exchanged at Wits HQ when this was announced.)
Netflix is also home to the upcoming Tig Notaro documentary, which will cover her life, career, her now-legendary post-cancer diagnosis stand-up set in 2012, and more. You can watch the trailer below.
Did you know there is a Wits newsletter? Much like the Infinite Guest newsletter, it comes out every week, with original content from Wits host John Moe, updates on new shows, what guests and friends of the program are up to, videos from the Wits YouTube channel, the whole shebang.
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