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Too Beautiful to Live is a daily podcast from Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. It's about life, current events, pop culture, puttering, laser baldness helmets, and tonight pants.


Episode #2882: Dear God, Helf Us

April 18, 2019 · Duration: 1:35:10 · Play

Luke sat next to a self-styled Donald Trump impersonator on his trip from Cleveland to Portland, putting his Skyjinx survival instincts to the test. Plus, Luke and Andrew discover a new terrifying creature to be afraid of in the Australian outback.

Episode #2881: Nostalgia Is A Powerful Drug

April 17, 2019 · Duration: 1:04:04 · Play

Andrew and Luke discuss their favorite food-related Bible stories. Andrew also helps Luke prep for his trip to Cleveland, and Luke talks about the time he almost ditched a dinner party that he DEFINITELY shouldn’t ditch.

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: Don’t Be A Bran

April 16, 2019 · Duration: 1:00:18 · Play

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers returns for the final season of Game of Thrones! Luke and Andrew discuss the season premiere and ask the important questions every hardcore fan wants to know, like what is a White Walker and who is Jon Snow? 

Episode #2880: Don’t Jeff Lynne Me!

· Duration: 1:30:52 · Play

It’s the day after Tax Day, and Luke is trying to declare Andrew as one of his dependents. They also discuss the life and death of one of the last Yangtze softshell turtles on Earth, and why Duluth, Minnesota, is about to become the coolest place to live, both literally and figuratively.

Episode #2879: Dingus In Real Life

April 15, 2019 · Duration: 1:46:44 · Play

Luke’s outdoor misadventures continued this weekend, almost leading to a Drama In Real Life situation. Plus, TV networks have admitted to piping bird sounds into golf broadcasts. And Andrew reveals a fascinating fact about airplane tires that is not true.

Episode #2878: Aggressively Finite

April 12, 2019 · Duration: 1:36:12 · Play

Luke and Andrew go through the pile of letters they’ve received from listeners regarding their questionable trip through the Australian Outback.

Episode #2877: Schitt’s Heads

April 11, 2019 · Duration: 1:24:50 · Play

The first-ever photos of a black hole 54 million light years away put Luke and Andrew in a philosophical mood. And the details about how the photo was captured leave the boys dazzled indeed. 

Episode #2876: Scissors Rock Paper?

April 10, 2019 · Duration: 1:17:32 · Play

Luke learns that he may have to legally change his name. But like, for REAL. Plus, Andrew sets the record straight on some things that have been bugging him, and he and Luke offer some solicited advice for the Youth of America. 

Episode #2875: Schrodinger’s Doots

April 9, 2019 · Duration: 2:12:26 · Play

A CNBC video encouraging people to tip their servers less “without looking cheap” is making people very, very angry. Luke and Andrew discuss this and Andrew’s latest attempts to be cool on Instagram. 

Episode #2874: Slightly Fapooned

April 8, 2019 · Duration: 1:50:05 · Play

Luke has a very chance encounter on one of his hikes, and thus answers the age old question: What happens when Luke meets a stranger in the Alps? Plus, a fascinating study shows us that almost everyone is better at dancing than they think, but worse at driving than they think. 

Episode #2873: Smaller Than A Yaris, Bigger Than A Breadbox

April 5, 2019 · Duration: 1:54:14 · Play

Australian listeners let Luke and Andrew know that their upcoming trip through the Outback is misguided and dangerous. But will they heed the warnings? Plus, a writer researches why Americans fell out of love with buffets, and it is fascinating. Plus, there’s a bit of Music for Your Weekend. 

Episode #2871: Now You’ve Got A Mom In The Jewelry Business

April 3, 2019 · Duration: 2:03:14 · Play

Luke and Andrew try to figure out if they’re nerds, dweebs, or geeks. (Or worse.) Plus, a decades-long mystery involving Garfield phones washing up on a French beach is almost solved. And a listener tells a nightmare-inducing story from a clothing-optional hot spring. 

Episode #2870: Mother Of Lawyers

April 2, 2019 · Duration: 1:13:53 · Play

After a night of TV watching, Luke finds himself disappointed in two beloved TV shows. He and Andrew also discuss Burger King’s plan to start selling meatless Impossible Burgers, and a Post’s plan to start selling chicken and waffle flavored cereal.

Episode #2869: Cuneiform in Uniform

April 1, 2019 · Duration: 2:03:02 · Play

Luke subjects Andrew to a April Fool’s Day quiz, and they spend a lot of time trying to answer a listener’s brain-breaking question about their social lives. 

Episode #2868: Reverse Stridex

March 29, 2019 · Duration: 1:27:57 · Play

A man in Woodenbong, Australia, wants to build a giant wooden bong to attract tourists and raise “trillions” of dollars for the community. Luke and Andrew discuss this, and Andrew discovers a crucial detail about the viral video of a Toledo news team embarrassing itself. 

Episode #2867: We Have The Seitan!

March 28, 2019 · Duration: 1:32:57 · Play

A music review of a 25-year old record is creating outrage on (wait for it)….The Internet! Andrew and Luke look back at some of their own bad musical taste in the ’90s. Plus, Andrew finally meets (meats?) an Arby’s sandwich he can’t handle.

Episode #2866: Ain’t No Fun When The Rabbit’s Got The Gurgle

March 27, 2019 · Duration: 1:02:15 · Play

Andrew tries to resurrect one of his favorite Morning Zoo radio bits from his childhood with less than stellar results. Plus, he and Luke ACTUALLY GET TO TOP STORIES TODAY, including the emergence of Fantasy Birding and the best high school drama performance since Max Fischer’s Serpico.

Episode #2865: Let’s Keep It Sausagey, San Diego!

March 26, 2019 · Duration: 1:52:16 · Play

Andrew picked up a piece of litter in his neighborhood that ended up being a lot more than he’d bargained for. Plus, a tweet from Sarah Silverman completely rocks Luke’s world, and Andrew is trying to figure out if he’s a team player.

Episode #2864: The Fanny Pack Of Tourism

March 25, 2019 · Duration: 1:25:09 · Play

Luke and Addie embark on a Segway adventure to remember! And Andrew has discovered his new favorite movie theater. It happens to be the same one where Luke spent his youth. 

Episode #2863: Spring Equi-Nots

March 22, 2019 · Duration: 1:06:19 · Play

Luke accidentally bought the most expensive glass of milk in New York City. He and Andrew also discuss a new Volvo that will take control of itself if the driver looks distracted.

Episode #2861: Cleats And A Clipboard

March 20, 2019 · Duration: 1:17:13 · Play

Luke and Andrew wake up in the middle of the damn night to watch the Mariners open their baseball season in Japan. Plus, the StuBot checks in from Arizona, where he’s following all the latest lotion-related airport news.