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Too Beautiful to Live is a daily podcast from Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. It's about life, current events, pop culture, puttering, laser baldness helmets, and tonight pants.


Episode #2431: Put It All On The Hot Dog

July 25, 2017 · Duration: 1:18:15 · Play

Nick Jarin joins the show to break down some Kurtis Blow lyrics, help Andrew with the latest battle in the Never-Ending Parking War, and reveal the most difficult way to get rid of a mustache.

Episode #2430: What Would The Shark Do?

July 24, 2017 · Duration: 1:21:12 · Play

Nick Jarin swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to update us on the “illicit skate park” on Duck Island, Michael Phelps’ “race” with a “shark”, and to answer The Question Of The Day.

Episode #2429: This Party’s Going To Be On The Hook!

July 21, 2017 · Duration: 59:54 · Play

Luke, Camero Kev, and their friend Newman join the show from a moving Kia Optima on their way to the lake for a boys weekend. Andrew is back in Wallingford, pretending it’s okay that he wasn’t invited. They discuss the haircut Luke gave himself last night and the gross truth about chlorinated swimming pools.

Episode #2428: Low T For The Tillerman

July 20, 2017 · Duration: 1:03:54 · Play

Things get a little gross on this episode as Luke discusses his unpleasant physical reaction to cotton balls, Andrew imagines jumping into a vat of mustard, and a listener shares a kombucha story that you won’t soon forget.

Episode #2427: Stop Naming Knights!

July 19, 2017 · Duration: 1:57:35 · Play

Luke and Andrew discuss the cool new film “The Disaster Artist”, which is based on the terrible old film “The Room”. Plus, the votes are in for the next round of Song of The Summer. And! The return of A Song of Ice and Spoilers, in which the guys forget character names and try to figure out the best way to get The Mountain to synergistically lean-in to really nail his latest Thrive Report.

Episode #2426: I’m Your Muppet

July 18, 2017 · Duration: 1:08:54 · Play

Luke is overjoyed to be back in Bellingham, but Andrew has some serious questions about their puppet-related text exchange over the weekend. Speaking of puppets, the voice of Kermit The Frog has been fired, and he is not taking it well.

Episode #2425: To Catch A Walshator

July 17, 2017 · Duration: 56:38 · Play

Andrew explains why he got kicked out of the kids section at the library. Luke has a new Game of Thrones fan theory involving a college basketball coach. And the NFL isn’t buying the “kombucha defense”.

Episode #2423: Pizza Crimes And Misdemeanors

July 13, 2017 · Duration: 1:20:55 · Play

Luke and Andrew finally discuss the story of a woman’s controversial interaction with a naked child in a vegan restaurant. The story has a name, but I refuse to type it here.

Episode #2422: Nothing Ketchup On A Nothing Hot Dog

July 12, 2017 · Duration: 1:08:24 · Play

Luke joins Andrew at Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to discuss a man’s narrow escape from angry bears, why Michael Phelps probably won’t *really* race a shark, and a correction to the exciting (but false) news we reported about Amelia Earhart.

Episode #2420: Kulshanately Optimistic

July 10, 2017 · Duration: 1:12:58 · Play

Luke and Andrew announce plans for the 2017 TBTL Summer Picnic! Plus, Andrew has an identity crisis as he says goodbye to his old car, and Luke deals with the fact that his dog tried to drown him.

Episode #2419: Oasis Of Back-Handed Compliments

July 7, 2017 · Duration: 1:08:58 · Play

Luke tells a story he is extremely embarrassed about, but Andrew refuses to edit it out of the show. Plus, Andrew gets a new catch phrase, a criminal defies all odds with a prison break, only to get caught ordering a pizza, and we hear another Song of the Summer nominee in Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2418: Dinking Around On Our Boop Boops

July 6, 2017 · Duration: 1:10:26 · Play

Luke had an opportunity to help a neighbor this morning, but he passed it up. He’s not feeling super great about that, and Andrew isn’t helping. Plus, an old photo from 1937 might prove that Amelia Earhart survived her plane crash. And we learn about about our nation’s great capitals – from the Frog Jump Capital of Ohio to the Barbed Wire Capital of the World.

Episode #2417: Bros Ice Trucking Bros

July 5, 2017 · Duration: 1:38:23 · Play

Luke is not ready for the holiday weekend to end, so he broadcasts today’s show from the pool at Burbank Springs. Andrew, meanwhile, is dry and indoors at his Wallingford studio, where he’s upset over the way he treated a listener recently.

Episode #2415: Brewster’s Millions 2: The Swede Smell Of Success

July 3, 2017 · Duration: 1:25:03 · Play

Luke finally meets his long lost relatives in Philadelphia and learns something new about himself. Andrew has a hot dog story to end all hot dog stories (we hope). And a photographer explains how he was able to capture a lovely photo of Governor Chris Christie and his family enjoying a holiday at the beach.

Episode #2413: Unicorns, Waterfalls And The Occasional Chip-Which

June 29, 2017 · Duration: 58:27 · Play

Luke checks in from Philadelphia, the land of cheese-steaks, community pools, and sometimes-depressing shoe stores. Fortunately, his mom, Susie, is an expert on all of those things, so the guys call her up. Plus, was Andrew at the center of a major conspiracy involving unicorns, waterfalls, and The Children of Ohio as a kid?

Episode #2412: Knee-Deep In The Stop Down

June 28, 2017 · Duration: 1:29:21 · Play

Luke needs help being a “fictional dude.” Andrew remembers the time someone tried to force him to quit TBTL. An IKEA bowl accidentally sets grapes on fire. And TBTL offers an examination of “rheumy” vs “rummy.”

Episode #2411: A Sense Of Hoplessness

June 27, 2017 · Duration: 1:24:13 · Play

Luke and Andrew get a visit from a large talking bunny, and for once, it’s not an alcohol-induced hallucination. Plus, Luke is anxious about an upcoming BBQ with relatives he’s never met, and Andrew has some Hot Takes on Sensible Toy Crossbow Ownership.

Episode #2410: Smoke Gets In Your Xyz

June 26, 2017 · Duration: 1:13:14 · Play

Luke spends the weekend eating honeycombs and sleep medication. Andrew tries to grill his anxieties away at a BBQ. An airline pilot tells his passengers to start praying when they run into trouble. And a listener has a run-in with a ghost, maybe.

Episode #2408: Sangria Can’t Melt Steel Beams

June 22, 2017 · Duration: 1:36:32 · Play

A Yale administrator is fired over things she wrote on Yelp, which makes Andrew take another look at his submissions to the site. Plus, a documentary has Luke looking back on his family’s Amway-selling days. And a listener sends in an email that…you know what? Let’s just not talk about that.

Episode #2407: A Ghost Is Bored

June 21, 2017 · Duration: 1:01:20 · Play

Luke and Carey head over to the law offices of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to share ghost stories and discuss a terrifying bug that makes people allergic to red meat. Also, Luke has a new audio drop that he insists on using, no matter how many times Andrew threatens to quit the show.