Too Beautiful to Live is a daily podcast from Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. It's about life, current events, pop culture, puttering, laser baldness helmets, and tonight pants.


Episode #2468: The Great Stink of 2017

September 14, 2017 · Duration: 1:09:29 · Play

Andrew stumbled on some archival audio that he’s excited to play for Luke. Luke is excited about a giant ball of disgustingness that’s living below the streets of London. They discuss these topics and share a couple of pretty sad stories about fish.

Episode #2467: Blackbeard The Turnip Slayer

September 13, 2017 · Duration: 1:17:43 · Play

Luke is trying to find a hat that looks like one in Dirty Dancing. Andrew’s quasi-obsession with Monk is getting more Monk-y. Luke also weighs in on the new iPhone unveiling, which Andrew’s apparently been having bad dreams about (that, and 7-foot bug monsters.)

Episode #2466: Dippin’ Don’ts

September 12, 2017 · Duration: 1:12:31 · Play

A walk on his old college campus has Luke feeling almost overwhelmed with nostalgia. He and Andrew also discuss whether people should demand things ASAP, at EOB, or at OOB. Plus, an NFL sideline reporter finds himself an unlikely celebrity, and a listener shares her story of a first date and a secret bathroom.

Episode #2465: “Transformers 5: Adrenaline Road”

September 11, 2017 · Duration: 2:02:25 · Play

Luke and Andrew get real about their long-term professional insecurities, as one does when one realizes one is a professional podcarter. Plus, Jim Carey tries to lay some Real Truths on an entertainment reporter. And No Point Conversion is back! Luke and Andrew break-down yesterday’s double-loss by the Seahawks and the Browns.

Episode #2464: Well, That Tickles Our T-Bone

September 8, 2017 · Duration: 1:17:49 · Play

Luke runs a soda-related experiment on Andrew, which results in both of them getting way too hopped-up on caffeine and sugar to finish the show. Also, Chilis has announced that it’s cutting its menu IN HALF, but it’s still way too long. And we’re all playing right into Whole Food’s organic little hands.

Episode #2463: The Abyss Of Grossness

September 7, 2017 · Duration: 1:07:07 · Play

Luke and Andrew get into some nasty business today with a story about a woman who found herself in a very compromising bathroom situation on a first date. A listener writes-in with another related situation. And an Irish family tries to capture a bat in their house, and it makes for some fascinating audio.

Episode #2462: You Say Ziosk, I Say Chiosk

September 6, 2017 · Duration: 1:30:03 · Play

Luke, Carey and Andrew gather at Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to talk about the scariest moments in a radio producer’s life, whether TBTL is good or bad for Luke and Carey’s relationship, and why Legos are so dang complicated these days. Then KROQ’s Bean Baxter swings by to drop some doo-wop knowledge.

Episode #2461: Less Smashing, More Slicing

September 5, 2017 · Duration: 1:25:09 · Play

Luke and Andrew woke up to find ash literally falling from the sky here in the Pacific Northwest. Once they get over that, they manage to discuss Luke’s least favorite TV commercial, why cutting onions make us cry, and whether They Might Be Giants will record a song about either of those things. Plus, things get real when someone calls in to ask a simple question about fantasy football.

Episode #2458: Functional Fun Guy

August 31, 2017 · Duration: 1:14:36 · Play

Luke and Andrew are excited for the picnic but a bit worried about the weather. Meanwhile Prince may have not been the person we thought he was, and Pumpkin Spice has arrived; whether or not America is ready.

Episode #2457: Burbation Nation

August 30, 2017 · Duration: 2:05:11 · Play

Luke and Andrew learn that pizzas are soon going to be delivered by self-driving cars equipped with ovens and two disturbingly silent scientists. Meanwhile, an elderly couple in Texas is saved from their flooding home by another fast-food chain. And Nick Jarin of NW Nerd swings by for the final 2017 episode of a Song of Ice and Spoilers!

Episode #2456: Don’t Beat Up On My Good Friend Pitbull

August 29, 2017 · Duration: 1:09:07 · Play

Andrew helps Luke work out a dog-related etiquette question, then says the word “Terri-Poo” too many times. Plus, Amazon takes over Whole Foods and lowers prices, but maybe going to a threatening-sounding butcher shop is the best bet for everyone. And a listener explains how TBTL is ruining science in a Minnesota laboratory.

Episode #2455: Did We Say Nothing?!

August 28, 2017 · Duration: 1:08:08 · Play

Luke’s inevitable skateboard-related injury occurred over the weekend, while Andrew was out buying $2 baseballs. They discuss a study that says you should probably just order that take-out food tonight, and a very, very good reason to stop using hotel tea kettles.

Episode #2454: Medium Minus

August 25, 2017 · Duration: 1:18:52 · Play

Luke and Andrew can barely contain themselves after Erik the Viking solves all their technical woes. They use their newfangled podcast equipment to discuss Taylor Swift’s polarizing new song and how Right Said Fred got a writing credit on it. Plus, The Great Bathmat Debate of 2017 and why Andrew refuses to squeegee his shower. And, of course,  we sample some Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2453: Alley Oops

August 24, 2017 · Duration: 1:02:38 · Play

Luke has finally found a way to make himself 13-years-old again, and Rudy The PodDog is LOVING IT! Meanwhile, Andrew is on a special mission to recapture someone else’s youth. And an etiquette expert weighs-in on the controversial topic of airplane-seat-reclining. 

Episode #2452: Keeping Up With The Targaryens

August 23, 2017 · Duration: 2:01:59 · Play

A state worker in New York is busted by a reporter after an unfortunate butt-dial. Luke and Andrew discuss his fate, and they announce a new project they need your help with. We also hear the VERY dramatic story of a listener’s unforgettable commute to work. Then Nick Jarin swings by for this week’s angst-filled episode of a Song of Ice and Spoilers!

Episode #2451: Constellation Consternation

August 22, 2017 · Duration: 1:09:15 · Play

The day after the great solar eclipse, Luke and Andrew hear from one man who wasn’t too impressed with it. And we announce the last two finalists of the TBTL Song of the Summer!

Episode #2449: Murder, He Podcasted

August 18, 2017 · Duration: 1:30:48 · Play

Phyllis “Fletch” Fletcher swings by to talk about Tom Selleck, 100 Rules For Driving My Congressman , and Andrew’s relationship with Howard Stern. And then they call Jen “Flash” Andrews to find out how she’s prepping for Monday’s eclipse!

Episode #2448: 50 Percent Man, 100 Percent Party

August 17, 2017 · Duration: 1:09:16 · Play

Luke reports in from D.C., where he survived a night of party-busing and public-radio-schmoozing. He and Andrew discuss their new favorite juror (#59, natch), Andrew’s Wu-Tang name, and why you won’t be able to buy your favorite chicken at football games in Atlanta.

Episode #2447: Stepmother Of Dragons

August 16, 2017 · Duration: 1:41:03 · Play

Luke checks in from the public radio conference he’s attending in D.C., where he was caught stuffing his tote bag full of free stuff for Andrew. They discuss their plans for the upcoming eclipse and why Luke may not be able to enjoy it. Plus, a very unusual song is burning up the iTunes charts, and Nick Jarin swings by for A Song of Ice and Spoilers.

Episode #2446: Wednesday Is Coming (Or “Pet Steves”)

August 15, 2017 · Duration: 1:12:02 · Play

Luke and Andrew try to avoid talking about their ongoing technical issues. They fail. They also discuss Rules Of The Road: Roundabout Edition. Andrew gives Luke a practice Washington State drivers test. And they listen to the longest legal ID they’ve ever heard.

Episode #2445: Hipster Determinism

August 14, 2017 · Duration: 58:43 · Play

Luke is supposed to be on his way to a public radio conference, but he’s tempting the airline gods with some last minute flight maneuvering that’s making Andrew nervous. They discuss a 106-year-old fruitcake, airplanes over Shea stadium, and why everyone’s into birds and goats these days. 

Episode #2444: Flashes Of Quincy-dence

August 11, 2017 · Duration: 1:08:10 · Play

Luke says he can soooooorrrrrt of identify with a jogger who did a bad, bad thing this week. Andrew is freaked out about a new report on sponges (which he thinks might have been funded by Big Sponge.) And, since it’s Friday, we have some Music For Your Weekend!