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Too Beautiful to Live is a daily podcast from Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. It's about life, current events, pop culture, puttering, laser baldness helmets, and tonight pants.


Episode #2423: Pizza Crimes And Misdemeanors

July 13, 2017 · Duration: 1:20:55 · Play

Luke and Andrew finally discuss the story of a woman’s controversial interaction with a naked child in a vegan restaurant. The story has a name, but I refuse to type it here.

Episode #2422: Nothing Ketchup On A Nothing Hot Dog

July 12, 2017 · Duration: 1:08:24 · Play

Luke joins Andrew at Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to discuss a man’s narrow escape from angry bears, why Michael Phelps probably won’t *really* race a shark, and a correction to the exciting (but false) news we reported about Amelia Earhart.

Episode #2420: Kulshanately Optimistic

July 10, 2017 · Duration: 1:12:58 · Play

Luke and Andrew announce plans for the 2017 TBTL Summer Picnic! Plus, Andrew has an identity crisis as he says goodbye to his old car, and Luke deals with the fact that his dog tried to drown him.

Episode #2419: Oasis Of Back-Handed Compliments

July 7, 2017 · Duration: 1:08:58 · Play

Luke tells a story he is extremely embarrassed about, but Andrew refuses to edit it out of the show. Plus, Andrew gets a new catch phrase, a criminal defies all odds with a prison break, only to get caught ordering a pizza, and we hear another Song of the Summer nominee in Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2418: Dinking Around On Our Boop Boops

July 6, 2017 · Duration: 1:10:26 · Play

Luke had an opportunity to help a neighbor this morning, but he passed it up. He’s not feeling super great about that, and Andrew isn’t helping. Plus, an old photo from 1937 might prove that Amelia Earhart survived her plane crash. And we learn about about our nation’s great capitals – from the Frog Jump Capital of Ohio to the Barbed Wire Capital of the World.

Episode #2417: Bros Ice Trucking Bros

July 5, 2017 · Duration: 1:38:23 · Play

Luke is not ready for the holiday weekend to end, so he broadcasts today’s show from the pool at Burbank Springs. Andrew, meanwhile, is dry and indoors at his Wallingford studio, where he’s upset over the way he treated a listener recently.

Episode #2415: Brewster’s Millions 2: The Swede Smell Of Success

July 3, 2017 · Duration: 1:25:03 · Play

Luke finally meets his long lost relatives in Philadelphia and learns something new about himself. Andrew has a hot dog story to end all hot dog stories (we hope). And a photographer explains how he was able to capture a lovely photo of Governor Chris Christie and his family enjoying a holiday at the beach.

Episode #2413: Unicorns, Waterfalls And The Occasional Chip-Which

June 29, 2017 · Duration: 58:27 · Play

Luke checks in from Philadelphia, the land of cheese-steaks, community pools, and sometimes-depressing shoe stores. Fortunately, his mom, Susie, is an expert on all of those things, so the guys call her up. Plus, was Andrew at the center of a major conspiracy involving unicorns, waterfalls, and The Children of Ohio as a kid?

Episode #2412: Knee-Deep In The Stop Down

June 28, 2017 · Duration: 1:29:21 · Play

Luke needs help being a “fictional dude.” Andrew remembers the time someone tried to force him to quit TBTL. An IKEA bowl accidentally sets grapes on fire. And TBTL offers an examination of “rheumy” vs “rummy.”

Episode #2411: A Sense Of Hoplessness

June 27, 2017 · Duration: 1:24:13 · Play

Luke and Andrew get a visit from a large talking bunny, and for once, it’s not an alcohol-induced hallucination. Plus, Luke is anxious about an upcoming BBQ with relatives he’s never met, and Andrew has some Hot Takes on Sensible Toy Crossbow Ownership.

Episode #2410: Smoke Gets In Your Xyz

June 26, 2017 · Duration: 1:13:14 · Play

Luke spends the weekend eating honeycombs and sleep medication. Andrew tries to grill his anxieties away at a BBQ. An airline pilot tells his passengers to start praying when they run into trouble. And a listener has a run-in with a ghost, maybe.

Episode #2408: Sangria Can’t Melt Steel Beams

June 22, 2017 · Duration: 1:36:32 · Play

A Yale administrator is fired over things she wrote on Yelp, which makes Andrew take another look at his submissions to the site. Plus, a documentary has Luke looking back on his family’s Amway-selling days. And a listener sends in an email that…you know what? Let’s just not talk about that.

Episode #2407: A Ghost Is Bored

June 21, 2017 · Duration: 1:01:20 · Play

Luke and Carey head over to the law offices of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to share ghost stories and discuss a terrifying bug that makes people allergic to red meat. Also, Luke has a new audio drop that he insists on using, no matter how many times Andrew threatens to quit the show.

Episode #2406: Technological Solutions For Emotional Problems

June 20, 2017 · Duration: 1:21:55 · Play

Luke dazzles us with some details about the creation of Spinal Tap and why the brilliant people behind the film only earned tens of dollars. Plus, what exactly does the TBTL Handbook say about swearing and music on this podcast? And a listener has a pest problem that’s really more of a relationship issue.

Episode #2405: Nothing Cold Can Stay

June 19, 2017 · Duration: 1:27:07 · Play

This show has it all: A TBTL Summer announcement, breaking news about our Senior Bidet Correspondent, a mystery solved by a listener, one of Luke’s predictions coming true, and a Cleveland Browns-related tangent. (Sorry about that last one.)

Episode #2403: Mama Said Shark You Out

June 15, 2017 · Duration: 1:15:25 · Play

Luke tries to listen in on his daughter’s college radio station, only to get a Martha-Shaped surprise. Plus, a segment on The Beatles exposes Andrew’s early love of Phil Collins.

Episode #2402: Teach Me How To Doogie

June 14, 2017 · Duration: 1:04:32 · Play

Things get a little weird (and oddly rappy) on this Wednesday (or possibly Tuesday?) edition of TBTL. Luke and Andrew break down some local radio ads, get the backstory on the fastest man in baseball promotions, and answer the age-old question: How much are those little fast food signs we see on the highway?

Episode #2401: Planting The Seeds Of Pastrami

June 13, 2017 · Duration: 1:06:29 · Play

Luke and Andrew try to adjust to their new lives as ex-road dogs. They discuss Andrew’s (not so?) harrowing airport adventure, a chicken sandwich that will be launched to the edge of space, and a man who is determined to bring pastrami sandwiches to Tuscany, despite all odds.

Episode #2400: TBTL Live In Austin!

June 12, 2017 · Duration: 1:17:44 · Play

Luke and Andrew bring their epic journey to an end with a live show at Stubb’s Barbecue in Austin, Texas, with amazing musical guest Shakey Graves!