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Too Beautiful to Live is a daily podcast from Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. It's about life, current events, pop culture, puttering, laser baldness helmets, and tonight pants.


Episode #2790: Subverting The Thirst Paradigm

December 11, 2018 · Duration: 1:43:47 · Play

A scientist says he’s identified the funniest words in the English language. Luke and Andrew will be the judge of that! Plus, Andrew confesses to an encyclopedia-related sin, and he and Luke break down the Seahawk’s Monday night win in a complicated installment of No Point Conversion.

Episode #2789: The Shape Of Our Sinuses

December 10, 2018 · Duration: 1:24:04 · Play

Jeannie Yandel joins the show from the hit podcast Battle Tactics For Your Sexist Workplace to list her favorite holiday beverages. She and Andrew also discuss a disturbing new trend among Hawaiian monk seals, and they pick a new host for the Oscars.

Episode #2788: Krang My Bell

December 7, 2018 · Duration: 1:14:14 · Play

Luke has a plan to jog to the airport this afternoon, but will the Wizards at Avis rent a sweaty Luke a car? Plus, an aquarium claps back at Apple over a new squid emoji.

Episode #2787: Good Cop, Rude Cop

December 6, 2018 · Duration: 1:35:12 · Play

Tom Cruise wants to make sure everyone’s flat-screen TVs are set up properly to watch his high-def action movies. Luke and Andrew call up their own A/V expert, Camero Kev, to fact check Maverick’s claims.

Episode #2786: You Got Szczerbed

December 5, 2018 · Duration: 1:10:12 · Play

Luke’s Los Angeles adventure continues with a trip to a selfie museum and a meal at Moby’s vegan restaurant. Plus, Andrew helps PETA come up with more animal-safe idioms.

Episode #2785: Greenlighting Projects In Hollyweird

December 4, 2018 · Duration: 1:18:55 · Play

Luke faces some demons on his trip to Los Angeles (aka, The Big Apple Down Under.) Plus, an artist buys a Banksy painting so he can destroy it. And Luke and Andrew talk about the weekend in sports in a Tuesday edition of No Point Conversion.

Episode #2784: Respect The Vest

December 3, 2018 · Duration: 1:20:10 · Play

Noted Public Transportation Enthusiast (and the longest running co-bro of Andrew’s life) Genevieve Haas joins the show to tell Luke and Andrew how she found herself in two bus-related adventures on the same day. 

Episode #2783: You’re Going To Love The Way You Nog

November 30, 2018 · Duration: 1:05:27 · Play

A new “study” says that women sleep better when they share a bed with a dog instead of a cat or a human. Plus, Luke’s experiment in making homemade crackers goes a little south. And it’s Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2782: Leave The Gun, Take The Aioli

November 29, 2018 · Duration: 1:33:48 · Play

Luke made homemade ranch dressing last night. Was it a Hidden Valley Ranch party in his mouth? The results are in! Plus, listeners help decide the final name of the TBTL Valentine’s show. 

Episode #2781: The Drowsiness In Me Recognizes The Drowsiness In You

November 28, 2018 · Duration: 1:31:51 · Play

Listeners weigh-in with suggestions for the name of the upcoming TBTL Valentine’s Day special. Plus, an Australian writer explains why Americans never get the Australian accent right. And speaking of Australia, a giant cow from Down Under is making international headlines.

Episode #2780: The Gift Of Relatability

November 27, 2018 · Duration: 1:52:38 · Play

Andrew just got the Cadillac of vacuum cleaners, but he has a lot of work to do before he can use it. Meanwhile, Luke is reading Michael Pollan books and clearing out his cupboards. L & A also pay tribute to actor, magician and all-around amazing guy Ricky Jay, who died this weekend.

Episode #2779: Where Would We Be Without Brains?

November 26, 2018 · Duration: 3:07:40 · Play

Luke and Andrew share their Thanksgiving adventures (Luke’s involved running a 13 mile race; Andrew’s involved a feast served off of a pool table.) Plus, Luke has many more Dazzling Deets about the Christmas tree industry, and he and Andrew celebrate some big wins in this week’s No Point Conversion! 

Episode #2774: Who Let The Ego Out?

November 19, 2018 · Duration: 1:27:50 · Play

Luke had an embarrassing moment during a comedy contest he was judging this weekend. Plus, Andrew’s got an update on the missing package that disappeared from his old house, and Luke’s working on a new bumper sticker slogan.

Episode #2773: There’s No Hurglars Among Burglars

November 16, 2018 · Duration: 1:59:49 · Play

TBTL Oh-Dark Qwerty: The Early Blurg Gets The Podcast week wraps up with a special Friday edition of TBTL! Luke and Andrew talk about the feel-good story of the year that ended up being a scam. Plus, a rare Friday edition of No Point Conversion rears its head after an eventful Seahawks match-up against Green Bay. 

Episode #2772: The Full Trebek

November 15, 2018 · Duration: 1:11:23 · Play

The TBTL Morning Zoo Crew do what it do! Luke and Andrew dig into a somewhat befuddling interview with Alex Trebek from Vulture Magazine, and Luke takes a stand against a certain word often used in songs.

Episode #2771: The Hand That Rocks The Ladle

November 14, 2018 · Duration: 1:51:00 · Play

Sean DeTore swings by to hang out with the TBTL Morning Zoo and share recipes for Cheese-less Mac & Cheese. Meanwhile, Luke saw a movie he loved but had the experience ruined by a loud talker behind him. 

Episode #2770: Classic Lowbrow Taco Nite!

November 13, 2018 · Duration: 1:50:41 · Play

It’s Day 2 of the TBTL Morning Zoo! Luke and Andrew share notes from listeners who are also getting their Early Blurg on this week. They also discuss the legacy of Stan Lee, who just passed away, and how the trial of El Chapo is shaping up in New York City. 

Episode #2769: Wake Up And Lose!

November 12, 2018 · Duration: 2:31:09 · Play

TBTL’s early morning experiment begins! Luke and Andrew wake up at 5am to talk about “bankruptcy barrels”, over-apologizing, and why Luke bought 500 gallons of spring water this weekend. 

Episode #2768: Wildly Infuriating

November 9, 2018 · Duration: 1:30:13 · Play

The Mystery Of Andrew’s Missing Package continues today when a key witness calls him up during the show. Plus, Luke explains why he doesn’t like diagonal walls. They also discuss journalistic ethics after Andrew discovers he had key information about a competing radio show. 

Episode #2767: Making A Burgerer Season 2

November 8, 2018 · Duration: 1:38:42 · Play

Luke & Andrew announce big plans for next week’s shows and take an unexpectedly deep dive into the show “God Friended Me”. Plus, Andrew argues both sides of a McDonalds Quarter Pounder With Cheese case, which leaves Luke hungry.

Episode #2766: The Flugelhorn Has Flugeled

November 7, 2018 · Duration: 1:08:57 · Play

Luke swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to analyze last night’s election coverage on both radio and television. Plus, Andrew explains why he barks into a mirror before leaving the house.