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Too Beautiful to Live is a daily podcast from Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. It's about life, current events, pop culture, puttering, laser baldness helmets, and tonight pants.


Episode #2384: By Roadies, For Carnies

May 19, 2017 · Duration: 1:06:29 · Play

Luke, Andrew and The StuBot gather at American Public Media to discuss Stu’s upcoming dance recital. They also call Luke’s wife, Carey, to address Luke’s paralyzing fear of carnival rides. And Maria Bamford delivers a commencement address for the ages.

Episode #2383: The Dingus Crown Affair

May 18, 2017 · Duration: 1:19:41 · Play

Luke and Andrew meet up in “Studio P” in St. Paul and spend literally the entire show trying to think up a funny name for one of the segments… they do not succeed.
(Yep, it’s one of *those* episodes.)

Episode #2382: Hamble Brags

May 17, 2017 · Duration: 1:05:29 · Play

Live on tape from a storage room at American Public Media, it’s a Wednesday afternoon edition of TBTL! The StuBot joins Luke and Andrew to discuss a Home Depot heist that could have gone so well, if only the perpetrator were named Shannon. Plus, are the boys ready for a week of fund raising at Minnesota Public Radio?

Episode #2381: Cult-De-Sac of Personality

May 16, 2017 · Duration: 1:26:43 · Play

Luke learns something very surprising and somewhat concerning about his online behavior. Andrew realizes he’s been leaving food on his lips for too long. Conan O’Brien’s writers may have stolen a bunch of jokes. And we welcome our new TBTL sponsor, Vinegar Dogs.

Episode #2379: Lemmings Of Regret

May 12, 2017 · Duration: 1:09:36 · Play

Luke is gearing up for his first weekend with his non-smart phone. Andrew learns more amazing details about yesterday’s mystery phone call. And they discuss Steve Harvey’s leaked memo ordering his co-workers to leave him alone. Plus, Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2378: A Passion For Pranking

May 11, 2017 · Duration: 1:07:52 · Play

Luke and Andrew try to solve a public bathroom-related mystery that has Andrew a little upset. They also dissect the dazzling details regarding the Wendy’s chicken nugget kid. And we hear about what may be the worst dentist in the world.

Episode #2376: Bellingham Backwoods Beauty

May 9, 2017 · Duration: 1:10:54 · Play

Andrew broke the law this weekend, then returned to the scene of the crime. Luke wants details. Plus, the dubious origins of Fidget Spinners, the hot toy craze sweeping the nation.

Episode #2375: When Harry Met Swaggy

May 8, 2017 · Duration: 1:20:19 · Play

Luke finally finds a whiz-bang tech product that even he won’t buy. He and Andrew also try to help a listener who finds himself in a very embarrassing situation.

Episode #2374: Hey, Shlub Bud!

May 5, 2017 · Duration: 1:23:50 · Play

Luke and Andrew discuss coping mechanisms to save their friendship during their road trip to Austin. Plus, a New York coffee shop is suing Starbucks over “stealing” it’s unicorn drink idea, and we get details on the amazing Cheyenne bunker, which is built inside a mountain. And of course, Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2373: Arby’s: We Have Some Rules!

May 4, 2017 · Duration: 1:19:15 · Play

Andrew puts Luke’s knowledge to the test with an impromptu quiz. They also discuss a study that says your cat may actually like you, and they fret over the details of their Austin road trip. Plus, Andrew regrets a comment he made on the internet.

Episode #2371: Wagon Wheel Sensibility

May 2, 2017 · Duration: 1:17:53 · Play

Luke joins Andrew from an undisclosed location to announce details of the live June 10th show in Austin! Plus, a man honors his dead friend by flushing him down the toilet(s), and a guy in Oregon is fined for casually referring to himself as an “engineer.”

Episode #2370: The Dichotomy Of The Shack

May 1, 2017 · Duration: 1:04:58 · Play

Luke joins Andrew at the offices of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to pour one out for Andrew’s favorite cable store. Plus, Ja Rule’s attempt to host the fanciest music festival of all time turns into one of the biggest disasters imaginable.

Episode #2369: A Hard Maybe

April 28, 2017 · Duration: 1:12:32 · Play

Television’s Chris Hayes joins the show to talk about his book tour, what it’s like to get blown-off by TBTL, and whether Andrew actually exists. He also finally weighs-in on the Judgement Night soundtrack. Plus, Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2368: 10 Rules For Dating My Cheese

April 27, 2017 · Duration: 1:28:08 · Play

Luke has important developments to share in the lives of his PodPets. Andrew decides to give an impromptu audio editing lesson on the show. And Luke wonders if Andrew is a super-taster, and not just a super-baby, when it comes to food choices.

Episode #2366: Super Mario Three: Revenge Of The Mar!

April 25, 2017 · Duration: 1:30:17 · Play

Luke and Andrew play an audio-drop guessing game that leads to an exploration of the saddest movie of all time (in Andrew’s estimation.) Plus, two researchers are compiling data on UFO sightings, including apparent fireballs in the sky. And professional golf rules are changing after a golfer unfairly lost a hundred thousand dollars.

Episode #2365: Scammy Go Likely

April 24, 2017 · Duration: 1:43:59 · Play

Andrew has a mini-meltdown at a fancy fundraiser. Luke spends 12 hours at an unusual underground poker game. And a 12-year old drives 800 miles across dangerous, Australian terrain.

Episode #2364: Pantyhose Are Magic

April 21, 2017 · Duration: 1:31:56 · Play

Public radio’s Barbara Bogaev joins the show to talk about life hacks, lock picking, and how she ended up on a terrorist watch list. Plus, a new TBTL jingle and Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2363: Closer, But Less Classy

April 20, 2017 · Duration: 1:22:29 · Play

Luke and Andrew delve into the strange, 1990’s world of ill-considered musical collaborations, and they imagine Cypress Hill’s writing process. Plus, a man claims a Scottish territory as his own, and the New York Times introduces us to California’s “Night Surfers” (whom, we believe, deserve a quiet night.)

Episode #2362: Business End Of The Ham

April 19, 2017 · Duration: 1:19:36 · Play

The Earth just survived a close encounter with an asteroid, thanks in part to a NASA’s “planetary defense officer.” Meanwhile, Tom Brady skips his scheduled appearance at the White House. And Luke explains why asking a girl on a date is better if she has no idea who you are or that you live across the street from her.

Episode #2361: Apollonia Of Nothing

April 18, 2017 · Duration: 1:22:31 · Play

Luke and Andrew discuss how they would spend their time in prison if they were ever thrown in the clink. Plus, another fast food chain is jumping on the Google bandwagon without Google’s help. And we finally get to the bottom of the Burro Rey mystery.

Episode #2360: Forever In Blue Jeans

April 17, 2017 · Duration: 1:54:21 · Play

Luke and Andrew research the proper care of jeans and whether or not you have to wash them after wearing them for months on end, even if your wife asks you to. Plus, we look at the real cost of imaginary New York apartments as presented in your favorite TV shows. And Shia LaBeouf is making art again. Can he save it from the trolls?